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THEY
DATED. SHE BECAME PREGNANT. SHE DID NOT ABORT
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(Meet
Cyprian Aende and Modester Mercy, The Kenyatta
University ‘Couple’ who defied the thought of abortion to Champion the fight
against the vice)
By
Gabriel Dinda.
When you first meet Cyprian and Modester, you might
probably mistake them for a couple who has lived together for two decades. That
is, if their show of affection for each other is anything to go by. But, that
is not the only news you should know from them. Your initial thought of them
being a couple will meet a barrier considering that our meeting was arranged in
Nyayo 1, a ladies’ hostel in Kenyatta University. These are two students who
have travelled the rough road of love and have had to deviate from the ‘easier’
ways chosen by most campus students.
MET AT HEALTH UNIT.
Just as others would confess, meeting the love of one’s
life is prone to occurrence in conspicuous places and in most cases in unexpected
outfit . This was not any different in this case. They met at the Kenyatta
University’s health unit and opened a clean chapter of love. Of course, this
took some process. Time went and many things happened, soon after, the two ‘couples’
were typical of a campus set up dating where they walk together and cuddle each
other. However, their first defiance, came when they surpassed the limit time
given for most ‘campus loves’-a
semester. In most campuses, an end of a semester does not only symbolize the
end to academic period, it also symbolizes an end to many ‘academic
relationships’. This theory, however, failed the test of the two.
BLESSING IN DISGUISE.
‘During that material night, we had arranged for her
to go back home, in Kitale, after visiting me for a week. She was in her long
vacation, then. We did not plan to sleep together in a room, but on her way to
the Bus station, her parents called and informed her that they were on their
way to Nairobi and therefore there would be no need for her to travel to Kitale
before their arrival in the city.’ Cyprian said with unexpected clarity of
memory. This was in explanation to what
lead to Modester, the epitome of campus character, conceiving. ‘We had not
shared a bed since our relationship started and we never planned to do it that night, however, things just happened,
no one could explain that,’ Cyprian continues as Modester lie on her chest, to
confirm the past memories.
The following morning, the moments of truth dawned
on us. We planned to purchase some contraceptives to save the situation but she
set out so early, to meet her parents in town. I promised to send her some
money, to enable her buy the pills. Unfortunately, I did not have the money at
hand. I had to look for the money from a friend. I never succeeded within the recommended
72 hours; the period within which the drugs are efective, and so, many other
thoughts came along. I thought that after the passage of the hours, it would be
an abortion which would come with more side effects. This was not my intention.
At that point, I told her, to just rub off the idea and fate comes with.
Two weeks down the line, she missed her monthly
period and this was enough proof that, she had conceived. The news from her on
the same was a shock of my life.’ Cyprian, a finalist Public Health Student, in
his last round of examinations by the time of press explains earnestly how the
two found themselves on the other side of love. ‘At that point, of course, the
thought of abortion, had to come up,’ He concludes as he take a little break to
sip his water
ABORTIONS ON THE RISE
A recent study of abortion trends in Kenya by
Guttmacher Institute showed that 46 of 1,000 women of reproductive age conduct
abortion. In other words, 300,000 thousand abortions occur in Kenya annually.
Google Zeitgeist 2012 showed that one of the most ‘searched’ for information in
Kenya was ‘how to abort’. The glaring
statistics of abortion and the many casualties caused by botched abortion are
not among the factors considered by the college students and young girls as
early as 10 years, who opt for the heinous act. Article 26 (4), states that
abortion is not permitted unless in the opinion of a trained health
professional, there is need for emergency treatment, or the life or health of
the mother is in danger, or is permitted by any other written law. Despite the
raised concerns and stepped campaigns, the cases are still on a rising mode,
going by the reports released by the World Health Organization in 2012.
MAKING A DECISION
At that point, the two ‘couples’ were entangled in a
web of hard decisions. The better part of their time was better spent with
stress. The thought of delivery was
worsened by the financial constraints which the couple faced. One would
imagine, that if the money required for the morning pills was such a hustle,
how the cost of raising a baby would be. ‘At some point, I looked at myself and
considered myself a failure, it was hard
to imagine that it had actually happened to me considering I was a
role model to many and a figure watched by numerous curious eyes.’ Modester, the
soft spoken ever smiling Counseling Psychology student opens up for the first
time. ‘Though, the pressure was too much, I knew I would not do something-kill’
she says with absolved certainty. ‘I knew, my parents would be shocked, and
probably disown me, but it was the better option,’ she concludes
The decision making process took some time, but few
things changed in their relationship, they were together in the whole period
and there was no blame game between them. They had understood that, the closer
they came together, the closer they would come to the solution.
‘I decided to bear the pain of shame, for the sake
of a life, I decided to remain true to
my inner self, which kept instructing me that abortion was not the best choice
in this case. I remember, my friend advising me to ‘get rid of the baby’ she
even advised me where to do that in Kilometer Moja(K.M), a shopping center
within the precincts of the University .
When I told her that, I was not considering abortion, she called me fala.’ Mercy, says in a low tone to show
a great concern to the trending habit. ‘We both decided to keep the baby and
watch her/him grow even with all the uncertainties we would be exposed to;
financial and moral support.
LITTLE SUPPORT
‘When my parents heard of what had happened, they
could not imagine that there was some truth in it.’ My dad, ‘could simply not
believe it’, Cyprian says to the reaction of his parents to their earlier
decision. The siblings from both sides of the family were very accommodative;
the parents from both sides were overly shocked, as any other parent would be.
The prenatal care was so expensive on their part. Cyprian had to get involved
in a lot of activities so as to get the little coin to help in this regard. His
parents were reluctant to offer any support to him, since he was not the first
born boy in their family. The Luo culture has some provisions when it comes to
offering support to a child who is not the first born in relation to marriage.
At some point, he had to defer his end semester examinations to carry out some
projects to help him get the extra coin to care for the girlfriend. ‘All this
time, he was so available, his availability was a great motivating factor to
me, at some point, my roommates asked me where I got this one- in- a million
man’ she says with a chuckle. But this commitment, he says, is part of his
personality which pushed him to travel from Homa- Bay, where he was carrying
out the social work projects, to Nairobi, every weekend to check on the progress
of Mercy.
BARAKA’S PARENTS.
The trend went for a while and the delivery was
successful. Today, the two ‘couples’ are proud parents of Travies Baraka.
Indeed, he is a blessing. The child is
taken care of by Mercy’s parents, but this will just be for a short time, they
plan to settle in a place and formally exchange the rings-a sweet revenge to
the monotony of impunitive abortion, indeed
‘BE DIFFERENT’ CAMPAIGN
The two couples have initiated an ambitious project
of walking to Clubs and Societies within Kenyatta University to campaign and
advice against abortion.’ The first time, we went to a club, as a couple,
people were so shocked, they never believed such things could happen in campus,
but they came to like us, some have joined the campaign. My husband(in
reference to Cyprian), normally tells them what he learnt from the whole thing
and advices the guys to be ‘men enough’ by being responsible, this part
normally live many people challenged a lot.’ Mercy explains.
‘When our son, Baraka, turns three, we shall walk
with him to campuses and colleges to explain why ‘we must be different’, for
now we are majorly in Kenyatta University, but of course, we shall spread our
wings. You can’t imagine the blessings which come with being responsible. Can
you imagine I would be a proud father of a dead baby should we have opted for
abortion, do you think I would be happier?’He quips as he looks straight at our
eyes. Cyprian shows an ambitious face of defiance to the ‘norms’ and a
breakthrough from the immorality which our colleges are associated with.
MY
ADVICE, TO YOU
‘My brothers and sisters, it is sad, very sad indeed
to commit abortion. You will probably imagine where you would be if you were
aborted. Should the ‘accident’ happen, please be forgiven for contemplating
abortion as an option. Campus has a lot to offer, both good and bad in equal measure;
we must choose the noble and sieve the rest. That is my word for you’ Cyprian
concludes as he turns to his photo album to check some of the photos of the
young family. Perhaps, our campuses have developed a new crop of responsible
students. Should this trend continue, our institutions will be sane again
At the end of the interview, we are not able to see
Baraka, but the smiles from the would be ‘academic couples’ shows a great hope
and a promise of optimism to the child. The baby, probably, had to survive the
disastrous thought of abortion so as to tell the story with the parents in
their planned ‘campus tours’. Indeed, abortion should not be an option when it
comes to campus relationships-responsibility should be the priority.
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